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The mass caning

I did a bad, bad thing flying back from Schiphol last week: I went into McDonald’s. My excuse? A quiet place to sit; power sockets to recharge my phone; a dire need for an energy kick from a McFlurry to keep me awake til my flight.

The seating area was host to a group of girls from a posh English school, all wearing matching tracksuits emblazoned with the school crest and name and the dates of their Dutch tour. They were in high spirits, but actually rather sweet.

Instead, I imagined a less well-behaved group disturbing their fellow diners, [...]

Caught at the fair

There was a reasonably large police presence at the Michaelmas Fair I visited last weekend. Not that there was any trouble, you understand, but high jinks are inevitable at such events – and the occasional villain might hope to seize the opportunity to pick a pocket or two. The behaviour of some suggested that alcohol had been flowing fairly freely, too – sometimes for those who might not have attained the necessary age to purchase or consume it.

I rather suspect that the fair’s C18th Charter might have envisaged such antics, and introduced special measures to deal with them. Clearly, [...]

The schoolgirl in the crowd

Weaving my way through a crowd of rush-hour commuters at Baker Street at around 6pm the other evening. In our midst, a solitary schoolgirl, carrying her satchel, looking downcast.

Surely school had finished hours before, I thought. So where had she been? Why, it was obvious…

Detention started after the other girls had left: an hour of copying the school rules in longhand with her fountain pen. And afterwards: that most lonely of walks to her housemaster’s office, to have to listen to how disappointed he was in her and to learn her fate.

Momentary relief that it was only [...]

The view from the canteen

The course I ran in the Netherlands on Tuesday took place in a recently-converted high school. I was somewhat distracted, as you can imagine.

Of most interest was the colleague’s office which boasted floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the former canteen. It was easy to imagine that this had been the headmaster’s office…

On the rare occasion that a girl was to be caned, she’d be called up to see him after lunch; those still eating would be able to look up and see her being lectured. The curtains would then be drawn; they’d wince knowing what was happening, and breath a [...]

The empty office

My hotel room in Manhattan for the first couple of nights of my stay, before EJ arrived in town, looked out across the street at a disused office block. When I woke at 5am, there were still lights on in the building, a few forlorn items of office furniture dotted at random around the large expanses of open space.

Just the sort of place, I realised, for the gentlemen to take a girl for their little, long-overdue discussion. To tie her over one of the desks; to give her a final chance to tell them what she knew; to cane [...]

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